I hope the image above doesn’t serve as too much of a spoiler. However, I felt the irresistible urge to share with you all my Thanksgiving plans. Well, not so much my plans, as my ordeal. And not so much Thanksgiving as an excuse to wear pajama pants in public. That’s right! This year, in order to avoid the Holiday Holocaust that is cooking a large meal with my family members, my sister and my mother have voted that, in lieu of any option resembling effort, we head on out to the Golden Corral for their oh-so-affordable $12.99 Turkey Carver special. Now this year my goal is to be “easy”. I don’t want to make waves, I don’t want to cause drama. I am here for the people, not the food, and I want to enjoy my family. However, the bitter irony of this state of affairs is that I will be spending the day I am supposed to focus on being most thankful in a place I have almost won an award for mocking. Below is my runner-up short story “Hey Billy”, written in 2010 about my one other experience at a GC. It follows the celebratory experience of young Billy. I hope you enjoy, and that at the very least, this will remind you not to take the holidays quite so seriously.
(Hit the jump for the story)